Most moms would probably have already seen this video trending on social media by Similac. It’s very real. One way or the other we find ourselves judging others as moms or moms-to-be.
I planned on writing a post on the struggles of a mom, in a world where everyone has an opinion on how you care for your baby. It can be annoying sometimes, although we know some mean good.
I usually calm myself to avoid any angry outbursts which I would later regret. One thing I have learnt in my 9 months as a mom is that no one knows your baby as best as his or her mom does. It’s a natural thing. We truly have a wonderful God we worship.
Recently I took my baby for her shots and as expected, she cried a lot. I was soothing her whilst trying to pack up her stuff to leave when I heard another mother say, “Your baby is crying”. My first reaction was, “Duh… am I deaf not to hear her cries, am I blind not to see she is in pain” I almost rolled my eyes. But on second thought I chose it best to ignore her and pretend I never heard her comment.
Another instance was when I took my 9 months old for her first evening show. She had fun and also slept in between. I was seated with her head resting comfortably against me when a lady tapped me only to tell me my daughter looks sleepy. “What? Am I such a bad mother to see my daughter so sleepy that I would intentionally keep her up and prevent her from doing so?”. I usually ignore such comments but this time, I told her that was why she was positioned that way to rest her head on my chest. She still wanted to insist on how I was holding her but I emphasised that my daughter was comfortable. Guess what happened in the next 5 minutes: Baby was awake and shouting and enjoying the show. I know my girl, you can’t just become an expert on her for just under an hour. It’s not possible unless you are God.
There are a lot of scenarios but these are just a few.
Frankly speaking before I became a mom, I used to think that all moms should breastfeed, have a natural birth, handle their annoyingly fidgety kids among others but all that changed afterwards. Don’t be quick to judge!
Before judging think these through:
If baby is not being breastfed it could be because her mom has a breast infection or she is unable to produce enough milk. Do you know how broken her heart was when she discovered she couldn’t breastfeed her little angel? Don’t add insult to her injuries.
If you found out she had a c-section, it could be because it wasn’t safe for either mom or baby or baby’s position didn’t allow for a natural birth. I know a couple of moms who opted for natural births only to have a c-section at the last minute. Some feel disappointed. So don’t be quick to judge.
I could go on and on but the essence of it all is to avoid premature judgements. Think through what you want to say before opening your mouth. A mom is already exhausted to have someone just sit there and judge her.
If what you have to say is not value – adding to her as a mom, then it will do everyone a lot of good to keep your opinion to yourself.
Join twitter and share your experiences with the hashtag #endmommywars.
Share this post and tag any struggling mom out there. This judgement must stop!