This weeks #superheroine is my lovely cousin, doctor and mother Mawuena (my namessake too). You will come across some medical terms which is understandable so be prepared to be referring to google.Just in you missed our previous #superheroine Eunice’s story, you can check it out here!
I know a lot of mother’s will mostly recount the lovely aspects of motherhood. Those moments sure are a blessing and helps so much to deal with the difficult aspects of motherhood.
Well, motherhood for me began quite unexpectedly. I got married in February and by March that same year, I was throwing up all over. Yea I was happy when I got to know I was pregnant. Thought it wouldn’t come so soon because I thought I had a window period of about a month or two before pregnancy would be possible (so unscientific right?). Well don’t blame me, my mum took two months to get pregnant after she got married and my elder sister after a month.
So here I was in the hottest season in Tamale, Ghana. Living every day in temperatures of 40 degrees and above, vomiting whenever I see an advert of food or oil on the television, or anytime I smelled food around me. And boy, was my sense of smell heightened. I was always on edge, my husband had to hide to eat, and I couldn’t believe human beings could actually bring themselves to eat foods prior to pregnancy, I loved so much. This was my life for the first 16months after marriage.
Of course my marriage got stressed. I couldn’t do anything for myself and my husband didn’t know me to be like that. Sometimes, he thought I was faking it. Hahaha, how divorce seemed like such a good option to me then. Thank God for patience. Hmmm, I even went as far as questioning God for making me feel like I was dying everyday while other people were on TV dancing to alcohol adverts. I ate nothing and yet my baby was growing well. Some of the miracles yet to be understood. My wish then was to feel like a human being again and walk on the streets like a healthy person. That alone would have made me feel good.
I ate nothing and yet my baby was growing well. Some of the miracles yet to be understood.
Throughout the day I was on intravenous dextrose infusions hung up by my husband at home, in the bedroom and in the hall. Wherever I could crawl to.
Then like magic, that period came to an end. Now came the ‘I don’t know what I want to eat but I’m very hungry period’. All I wanted to eat were food I saw in magazines. Boy, did my husband suffer. Different restaurants and yet they didn’t meet my expectations.
Then came the waking up about five times at night to pee. What a disturbance in sleep for a person who loves her sleep so much. (Didn’t know actually nursing a baby could be worse. lol). I experienced what is called symphysis pubis dysfunction since my baby fixed quite early in my pelvis. My husband had to hold my panties down to my feet for me while I held onto his head and painfully lifted one foot at a time just to put on my underwear. Anytime I was tired of lying down on one side of my body, he had to wake up and turn me to my other side.
Alas! My baby was term and had a good weight via ultrasonic scan so I opted for induction of labour because I was so tired. What an experience that was. The labour was so painful I cried out for a caesarean section but the doctor refused. Thank God! Finally my baby’s head was out of my cervix and ready to come out and that was the end of my pain. It was like a joke. I felt nothing apart from the urge to push something foreign out of my body. I pushed my baby boy out within a minute or two with great encouragement from my husband. My mum who was waiting just outside my delivery room and praying thought I died when I suddenly stopped screaming. She didn’t know I was busily pushing my boy out.
Thank God! Finally my baby’s head was out of my cervix and ready to come out and that was the end of my pain.
To cut a long story short, I love my baby boy like crazy, but he made me quite crazy within his first eighteen months. I was so sleep deprived I couldn’t function well. He wouldn’t allow himself to be left alone for a minute. I couldn’t wait for the time he would start talking to me, give me kisses all over my face, tell me he loves me and hug me tight. Now he does all that and sometimes I wish he would just keep quiet. (Really, what do human beings want? Lol)
Managing work with family………
It is tough though, combining work and family. Thing is, though we preach exclusive breastfeeding, yet I have never been able to practice it. After my first three months was over, I was back to work on twelve hour duties at the accident and emergency department in my hospital back to back for two weeks continuously. My breast milk virtually stopped. Everyone was telling me to try different things. My bosses didn’t care cos the duties had to be done. Yes, I started formula feeding naturally. What could I do? Thank God it all worked out.
I thought after one baby, God had done so well for me so that was all I wanted. When my son was a year old, I was the one to ask my husband for another baby. Yea. I wanted my baby to have someone to play with at home.
Well, I thought, why not be stressed now and enjoy later right? But the stress is real.
Well, now I have three children, two boys and a girl, all very different in character. I am on my twelfth nanny and hopefully the last I pray. Both parent are still workaholics. Gone are the days when all one had to do was to give birth and hand over to their mothers. (What sweet times!)
My husband has been a great support. Well, now my slogan is IUCD (Intrauterine contraceptive device) till menopause, and that’s what’s up!
The kids are brilliant and noisy and lovely and annoying and adorable. But I still can’t wait till they can do a lot of things for themselves so I can feel like me again and enjoy my man anytime, anywhere, anyhow. Right now, it’s still all about my loves.
Definitely waiting to see how life will be when I start residency training but I know Jesus has got my back.
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You never know, but the simplest of life experiences can just be the strong motivational force in the life of another. Sharing makes the difference…..