Growing up, the perspective we had of fatherhood was the fixed role of fathers’ working to take care of the home by making money available and being the disciplinarian of the family. Fathers did not expressly expose their emotional side to their family. There are conspiracies that fathers are not well celebrated because they spend time working hard to earn enough money to finance the home and are unable to spend time with the kids, when they do however, they play more disciplinarian roles. Reason why kids do not celebrate them that much. They simply do not see or appreciate the role of their fathers in their lives.
Fathers of today however, are beginning to be more hands-on with the family. Helping with the cleaning, cooking and childcare. I believe when it gets to the topic of raising kids the input of both is key to grooming an open-minded child. Kudos to the single parents playing the role of both father and mother!
A father is the one the son looks up to and his daughters first role model in defining the characteristics of the man she would want to settle with in future. So fathers strive today to raise the bar for your kids.
If you are a father and neglecting to support the home physically, spiritually and emotionally for fear of ridicule by your fellow men then you are living in the old age. Chin up and start living out the lifestyle you would want to see in your kids. #fathersdayTweet
A father is also the spiritual leader of the home and the support system for the mother. I know the language of men and women can result in a lot of miscommunications but let me put it out there that fathers and mothers need the emotional support of each other to be able to raise their kids in a mentally stable environment. It is also common knowledge that women have to work twice or more as much to be recognised. But I believe the change is gradually coming.
For 2020’s Fathers’ Day I wanted to make a positive impact so I reached out to Augustine Blay, if you are connected to him on LinkedIn you will see a number of videos of him spending time or dancing with his kids. For me that is the TRUE definition of a modern father. I reached out to him and he was willing to share some tips with us. If you are a father and neglecting to support the home physically, spiritually and emotionally for fear of ridicule by your fellow men then you are living in the old age. Chin up and start living out the lifestyle you would want to see in your kids.
Like my husband would say, “Just be you and be the best version of yourself as a father.”
Enjoy these 5 golden nuggets from Augustine Blay!
“Teach them the way of the Lord. The Lord has been a mighty tower for me. He will be a mighty tower for your kids as well.”
“Teach them to compete and compete fairly. They should never be intimidated by the opponent no matter his or her size. They should be focused and determined to win. Teach them that they either win or learn. They can never lose.”
“Procrastination has caused me a lot. I wish I had known that the real root cause of procrastination is based on our emotional disposition and not necessarily because we don’t have time. I just found out that all my procrastinations were due to my fear of failure and not because I had too much to do. If you manage your fears, you will significantly reduce your procrastination and achieve more.
If with procrastination, you are great then without it, you will be the greatest. Eliminate procrastination and just get it done. If you are younger than me, please take note.“
“Enjoy your fatherhood and your children. They are jewels of God who have been loaned to you for a while.”
“While working hard, do not forget to have fun with the family. They need your attention.”
And a few questions followed…..
OMT: What advice would you give young fathers and fathers to be?
AB: “Advice to young fathers – your children should be your best friends. Deliberately sow in them the values of leadership and confidence. If they are not confident around you, they will have some sort of inferiority complex when they go outside. The years pass by quickly. Today they are one month, tomorrow five years, and before you realize they are more than 20 ready to step out. Understand, therefore, that you have them under your control till they become teenagers. As soon as they enter their teenage years, they only respond to reasoning and logic and not intimidation and bullying. Therefore get ready for those years. Finally, life is very short, so young fathers should do all their possible best to leave as many memories as possible with their kids. Memories are all that you have left when we get separated as a result of death or life circumstances (going away to school, married away, traveling abroad, etc).”
OMT: Then lastly, fathers usually say they are not celebrated much. In your opinion, how would they like to be celebrated?
AB: “How can fathers be celebrated? I think the best way to celebrate young fathers is to recognize their achievement towards their vision and purpose in life. Young fathers are juggling a lot of things just to achieve a specific vision. Their small successes towards the fulfillment of their vision are usually downplayed or ignored.”
(If you have not been inspired at this point, I will politely suggest that you go back to the beginning and start reading all over again.) Personally I have been inspired.
Based on the question I raised earlier on, these are the responses I received and the common theme is that Fathers have to also work hard to change the wrong ghanaian narrative on fatherhood.
“Please first pray for me and second surprise me by taking me out.” – Frank
“Fatherhood as we know it in Ghana has so many question marks even though some fathers still try. There are a lot of disappointing stories and I think father figures need to do more else the narrative will still be the same.” – Abigail
If they want to be remembered by their kids, then they must go the extra mile. The irresponsible fathers are too many and have drowned the few responsible ones. So to stand out as a father , they must work hard with commitment and dedication. It is doable.- Felix
On this note I wish you a HAPPY FATHERS’ DAY and cheers to the new age of parenting and fatherhood.
The discussion doesn’t end here, tell us what you think about how fathers can step up to their role and as a father how would you like to be celebrated?
OMT is all about inspiring positive change. If you are a Father and you would like to share your experiences to help bring change kindly email OMT at firstname.lastname@example.org.