Health & Wellbeing, Lifestyle & Opinion

When the helper needs help….

I have been thinking of an appropriate way to caption this post. For some reason, Kennedy Agyapong’s documentary title keeps springing to mind as the best caption, lol “WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMAN.” I settled on “When the helper needs help…” but my next option for a caption would have been, “Who helps the helper?”

Now back to my post.

The past few weeks have been stressful for me. I got to the point where I began to doubt my capabilities. I kept thinking to myself and valuing less of myself with these thoughts, “Am I not as good as I thought I was?” I was demotivated and inadvertently stressing myself further with these thoughts.

The point is, I knew my triggers and the solution; which was to take a break and think through the root cause of my feelings and then resume my “stressful” task. I made the mistake of allowing myself to fall too deeply into the dark pit of, “I do not value myself right now” I had to find a way to climb up and crawl out of the pit. I went back to read my post on How to practise self-love: The 6 steps approach and reminded myself of what I had to do. Bear in mind, I knew my triggers but I guess I allowed myself to fall in too deeply.

It helped me to be kind to myself once again and reduce the unreasonable targets I had set upon myself. I had to mentally remind myself to tone down on my perfectionism. It then dawned on me that I was not perfect but striving to become a better version of myself day after day and in the process take others along with me on this growth journey. It doesn’t mean I have it all figured out but I have to learn to embrace the humanness in me.

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Coming out to tell others you have failed shouldn’t negate any positive impact one has created in the past. For instance, a very good marriage counselor who has helped a lot of married couples improve their marriages may find himself or herself engaged in extra marital affairs. Should this negate all that he or she has impacted positively in the past? Do we forget they are also humans and deserve help or a listening ear or a second chance? Do we rush to impose judgement on them? Do we know that its these same actions and judgements that drives them to depression?

Let me pause for emphasis and to help you think through these questions

Let us be each others keeper and not hasten to impose high standards of perfectionism on people in positions of positive influence when we ourselves in the same position would elect for a more relaxed standard.

We are all in the trial and testing phase of life but some take the risk to share their knowledge and experience with others for impact. These group of people are the ones who really need help and are often neglected because of the wrong assumption that they are perfect and have everything figured out.

Image credit: Pinterest

Today I entreat each of us to randomly check up on our “perfect” family and friends. If they open up, then fine! If not, then you create an impression that you have their back. The pastor, the coach, the teacher, your manager are also human and need a helping hand too. A simple “How are you?” can work magic!

A special thanks to all the friends who make time to check up and provide that listening ear to my rants and other life Chief among them is my hubby, thank you for listening to my complaints and rants when you have wahalas of your own. lol

Oh! by the way I am a good listener and if you need a listening ear, I am here for you (email and although I might not solve your problem I can help lighten your load.


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If you are a helper, read each word of the post below and remember you are also human!