Be Inspired, Contributing Writers, Lifestyle & Opinion

Rejections

November 10, 2023November 11, 2023 by Helen Bour

CRUSHED. BROKEN HEARTED. DEJECTED. DENIED. DEVASTATED.

In the dimly lit corridors of our lives, there exists a formidable adversary, an unwelcome guest, and an unrelenting foe that we all must inevitably confront. It doesn’t discriminate based on age, gender, or social status, and it lurks around every corner, waiting to pounce when we least expect it. This uninvited guest goes by a single, chilling name: Rejection!

According to the Cambridge dictionary, rejection is defined as: ‘the act of refusing to accept, use, or believe someone or something.’ Rejection is perceived differently by different people. How to navigate rejections, accept and deal with it means different things to everyone. Can you share what works for you? It may be useful to someone out there. I asked my friends to write a piece on their personal thoughts and perceptions of rejection: be it personal, job, relationship, acceptance etc. I believe their pieces should redefine the whole context of rejection and provide some useful tips for you. Enjoy

Quite unconventionally, I would start off my opinion on a quote by Paul (also Saul of Tarsus), “I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean”—Romans 14:14. Clearly from this narration, we can expect that the consequence of whatever happens to us in life is either exacerbated or mitigated by what we think and feel about the situation.

The thing about a rejection is that, when it happens to anyone, the initial emotional response is almost same for everyone—a sense of inadequacy. Whether in one’s professional career or a cherished relationship, the obvious mistake we seem to make or have tendencies of making is that, we perceive the rejection as a validation of how inapt our values or capabilities are rather than a reflection of the other party’s needs, preferences or conditions prevailing at a particular time.

While there could be elements of objectivity or reasonable justification why one is rejected, this does not also rule out the element of subjectivity in the decision process. Thus, it is important to be considerate when dealing with rejection and not subject ourselves to the disappointment from it but rather count it as an avenue to do something different or patiently wait on the invaluable fruit of resiliency in one’s life pursuits.

Rejections are natural life occurrences, just like rains, floods, or even death, they are part of human life and everyone at some point in their life have been rejected or will be rejected eventually. Rejections are good evils in society which keeps everyone in check. They constantly remind us that none of us is irreplaceable or unconditionally needed in all life’s endeavours. While rejections could be challenging to accept, we are equally reminded that, regardless our relevance in people’s life or in an organisation, significant adjustments can and will be made in our absence and life will continue to function.

When we are denied an opportunity to contribute our virtue, it is not a denial of our worth or capabilities but rather another opportunity to improve to be more efficient or to look elsewhere at that material time. I think we are held accountable in our acts of integrity and moral principles—are we truly who we are after a rejection? What becomes of us is nothing short of a sense of solemn retrospection to put ourselves in check—adjust where necessary, improve where needed and move on when the situation demands. Where possible and necessary, solicit for feedback. Constructive appraisal on one’s rejection can provide valuable insights for development for oneself or an experience to be shared with others.

So, be kind to yourself, consider what is ahead and not what has been missed. After all, life is short and it is not short of one thing—none of us is leaving here alive! Just heal and move, you are only a part of the collective so do not be too hard on yourself after a rejection.

Remember, that nothing is unclean in itself, it is what we make out of every situation which hold significance—the good, the bad and the ugly, will end up as a memory or an experience worth having. My good friend Amos Sarpong Kumankoma has always been right on this—beauty and life have one thing in common, they are both fleeting. One day everything will fade away and all that will be left of us is that which really matters, the soul. So, refrain from immersing yourselves in disappointment after a rejection. There is more to nourish your soul with in a world filled with boundless opportunities than being held hostage by just one life setback.
SK Atsitsre

Rejection to me is a necessary tool for growth. I believe that some doors need to be shut in your face to redirect your path to what is genuinely meant for you. Trust me when I say, the number of NOs I have received in my lifetime outweighs the YESs. These NOs have redirected my path to ventures far greater than what I initially sought. The younger me used to cry whenever I faced these rejections.

Little Miss will lock herself up and question her entire existence. I am glad she grew up to understand the power behind rejections and also harnessed it. Now whenever I get a No, I look for a different pathway that could lead me to the same door or even a much better door. Some rejections however require you to still press on and fight for what you want. You have to listen to your heart and also pray for discernment to know when to walk away and when to stay and fight. You also do not have to fear rejection. Remember, the pain of rejection is nothing compared to the pain of regret. Life is the most precious gift bestowed upon us and all that is required of us is to enjoy it and give it our best. You do not have to allow rejections to beat you down or define your self-image. Remember, rejection is not your worth; it is only someone’s opinion!
Abena Boahemaa Adusei

In our next episode, we will focus on why rejections are normal, why we consider rejections as bad and how to overcome rejections.

Until then, I would love to know your thoughts on rejections.