How To Have a Good Day.
We all want to have consistently good days. We absolutely love when we nail a day. When things just go our way and nothing seems to go wrong, we feel elated. We want to feel good every day of the week. Dare I say, we are addicted to it. And that is a good thing if you ask me. But consistent “good” days don’t just fall on our laps. We have to be active participants in how our days turn out. To do that, we need the discipline of wisdom and the courage to act.
The Discipline of Wisdom.
First things first, we need to understand that the day in itself, is completely neutral. Whether you define it by the passage of time or by the movement of the earth around the sun, the day is as neutral as it can get. It doesn’t discriminate. Nobody has more of it, and nobody has less of it. It doesn’t come with labels, nor is it set up to be good or bad. The day is just what it is, a day.
Now, within each day, we each are confronted with circumstances and events – the news, the economy, the weather, how other people respond or react to us, etc. These circumstances and events that happen in our lives occur very randomly and are almost always out of our control. It is important to understand that circumstances, in themselves, do not come with labels of good or bad, nor do they come to make us happy or sad. Circumstances do not care about us as much as we’d like to think. They just happen. And oftentimes as I’ve found, the circumstances we dread are the same circumstances other people look forward to.
If the day, and the circumstances that occur within the day, are neither good nor bad, are random, and mostly out of our control, where then should we focus our energy if we are to have a good day? In our responses to the circumstances that occur within the day, of course. You see, when we focus on circumstances outside of our control, when we sweat and dread them, we most often end up with frustration, anxiety, anger, and pain. But when we put our focus on that which we can actually control – our thoughts, actions, habits, responses – we not only become active participants in shaping our days, but we use these circumstances – desirable or undesirable – to our own advantage.
The discipline of wisdom is in the identification and separation of circumstances within our sphere of control and those which are outside our sphere of control. Epictetus, a Stoic philosopher, shared a very important principle which I apply to just about everything that occurs in my day. He said, “The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control.” What is outside my control, and I need to accept as it is? How do I respond to the circumstances outside of my control and become better because of them? This is the path to peace and wisdom.
The Courage to Act.
Armed with the discipline of wisdom, how then do we have a good day? By doing good things for ourselves and those around us. By responding to circumstances outside our control with emotional virtues of patience, love, compassion, understanding, gratitude, forgiveness, and acceptance. And by acting with courage and discipline with our actions. These are qualities we can grow and develop if we choose.
We cannot think our way to a good day or expect circumstances to align perfectly for us. We have to act. To have good days, we must be steadfast in our application of the discipline of wisdom to all circumstances around us and then acting with virtue. We can never go wrong when we practice an emotional virtue to things outside our control. And we become better because we act with virtue.
The choice has always been ours – to practice virtue with circumstances within our control and circumstances outside of our control. In this way, we are not victims of the whims of life, but we are students, learners, practitioners, and we take advantage of all of life. We gain and become better because of circumstances through the practice of virtue every day.
No matter the situation, circumstance, or event that comes along in your day, apply the discipline of wisdom to it and then act with virtue. Practice virtue with everything. Remember that all circumstances, situations, events, etc. are not inherently good or bad but our thinking makes it so.
Circumstances will go our way and they will not go our way. If they do not go our way, waste no time questioning why. Pick and practice a virtue appropriate to the circumstance. You will never go wrong being kind and forgiving to other people even when they vex you. And if they do go your way, practice a virtue like gratitude for it. Either way, you win the day. Do this long enough and you will not remember when you had a “bad” day.
What do you think about this? We’d love to hear from you! Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section below. What tips do you have for having a good day? Let’s start a conversation!
