An Open Letter to You who feels forgotten
By Karen Date
I remember as a child, during birthday celebrations in my nursery classroom, our teachers would ask the celebrant to select close friends to join them to cut their birthday cake. At once, many little hands will spring up, some saying “Me! Me!”. The celebrant would pick their close friends and those who felt that they should have been picked but weren’t, would cry, throw tantrums or be in a bad mood for the rest of the day. I reckon in their little minds they were remembering how they shared their kalyppo with the celebrant during lunch time, when they helped to push the celebrant on the swings during break time or when they and the celebrant sang Barney’s “I Love You” and gave each other a great big hug. Such experiences introduced us to the ache of being forgotten.
This ache follows us into adulthood. The sting you feel when your contribution to a work project goes unacknowledged, the hurtful realization that you are in a one-sided effort friendship or that feeling of disregard when your partner forgets your birthday. So as to not be seen as overly-emotional, we tend to shrug off this feeling. We make excuses for them to justify their acts. As understanding as we may try to be, this ache throbs within us.
Human beings are wired for connection. We naturally long for meaningful relationships and a sense of belonging. Yet, as valuable as those relationships are, they were never designed to meet every longing of the human heart, including the desire to feel remembered, to feel noticed.
“You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.”
Psalm 139:2-3
Unlike people, God never forgets us. In the lens of a telescope, our individual presence on earth is insignificant, but in God’s eyes, everything we do and experience carries much significance. From your first sip of water of the day, to that encounter with your class 4 teacher in the afternoon, to the news of your grandfather’s passing at 6:30pm. Nothing we do and experience goes unrecognized by God and we need to rest in that fact.
Being aware of God’s omnipresence in our lives helps to deal with the daily pangs of adulthood. Implementing this involves constant communication with God throughout the day. Talk to God about that presentation you’re nervous about, about how you want an empty trotro front seat. Tell God about your fear to sleep in the dark even though you are 32. Tell God how upset you are about your crush not texting you back. That daily interaction with the One who sees you intricately and is deeply obsessed with you will fill you with so much strength and confidence. It also reassures you that God is not oblivious to anything that concerns you, and that you matter greatly to Him.
In difficulty, in ease and in the mundane, God’s presence is with us.
Isaiah 49:15-16: “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands”.
The feeling of being forgotten is a common human experience, but it is a reflection of our emotions, not God’s reality. With God, you don’t have to have your hands up screaming “Me! Me!”. Before you call, He already has His arm stretched out for you. You only need to take hold of His hand and walk with Him daily.
About the writer
Hi there! My name is Karen Date, a young woman with a mind that wanders, but somehow always finds its way home. I am passionate about putting thoughts on paper, endlessly reading blogposts and having long conversations about anything and everything. I also do my best to walk with God Daily and reflect on what He teaches me in every season. He offered a window into one of these many reflections and let me know what you think!
LinkedIn: @Karen Date
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This is beautiful. My favourite part:, “as valuable as those relationships are, they were never designed to meet every longing of the human heart, including the desire to feel remembered, to feel noticed.”