How Hope Outlasted the Long Road to Motherhood for Ruth Korkor Opoku

Don’t get into your shell and be so focused on your issue that nothing else matters.  Water others and you will be watered.– Ruth Korkor Opoku

1.To start with, can you briefly introduce yourself and share a little about who you are beyond motherhood

My Name is Mrs. Ruth Korkor Opoku. I’m currently working as Senior Administrative Professional in a Higher Education Institution in Ghana. I love to dance, sing, watch plays and spend quality time with friends and family. I also love learning new languages and forging intercultural interactions and partnerships with people from different countries. I am a wife and a mother of two lovely miracle boys.

2. Can you take us back to the beginning and share what your journey to motherhood was like before childbirth?

Hmmm… It’s a long story but I will try to keep it short. My husband and I waited 10 years, 6 months before we were blessed with our first child. Prior to that, it was a trying time of hospital visits, pricks, tests, prayers, fasting, deliverance, giving, etc. We did all we could on our part. There seemed to be nothing wrong, but we were still childless for all those years.

Despite this, looking back, it was also a fulfilling time where I gave off a lot of my time to participating in Church. It was the period when the Lord gave me a ministry of praying for pregnant women. It was a long and tough journey that I did not sign up for and didn’t know how I would survive but the Lord carried me through it, one step at a time.

3. While you were waiting, what were some of the moments that really stretched or tested you the most?

Ooo, they were so many! I think continuously receiving prophesies from people who did not even know my situation only for the disappointment to follow soon after broke me. I got tired of hearing prophesies and even stopped going to some meetings for a while. But later, I realised that cutting out fellowship with other Believers was not the solution, so I went back. I would usually sit in an obscure position at church so the Minister leading would not see me and call me forward. Even then, one time, the Minister got Word of Knowledge and called my surname! It was tough but looking back now, God was using those times to build my faith because Scripture says faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.

Also, comments (some well-meaning, but still…), looks or gestures from people who I thought should know better were hurtful.

The waiting time was tough. I had no doubt God would fulfil His promises to us. But the “WHEN” factor was the challenge. The waiting period really tested my faith.

4. In those seasons of delay and uncertainty, what helped you keep holding on to hope?

I would say God. I honestly don’t know how I survived except to say God carried me. I went through several phases. There were times when I felt strong and fought in prayer and other times when I could not utter a word in prayer because I did not know what to pray about again.

Another thing was supportive family, friends and secret intercessors who kept praying for us. There were some people that we never knew were interceding for us until we gave birth and they came out shedding tears and thanking God for answering their prayers.

God also used tangible testimonies of people we personally knew who had also waited and God came through for them. It was an encouragement that God was no respecter of persons and would do it for us.

Finally, giving off myself and my best to the things of God, especially praying for other pregnant women and genuinely rejoicing with them after a safe delivery. It was so therapeutic and could only have come from God!

5. Do you remember the moment you found out you were expecting? What was going through your heart and mind?

I remember it as if it were yesterday. It was during the Covid period. I had very little faith at that point and was on the verge of giving up. I refused to test when I missed my period by a few days. I had seen that several times and always had negative results, so I wanted to wait a little while longer. But a sharp pain in my stomach caused me to contact my doctor and he asked me to test. I was hesitant but later obliged because the pain persisted. You know how they say it’s best to test with the first urine when you wake up? That was the longest night ever! Both hubby and I tossed and turned in bed throughout the night.

We were nervous. I woke up very early at 3am and decided that I would do it secretly and not tell hubby if it was negative. I had two tests with me. I did the first test and saw 2 lines. At first, I thought I was dreaming or imagining it, so I washed my face and did the test again. And there it was, 2 emphatic lines! After almost 9 years and some months of negative tests! I quietly went to the room, trying to think of how to tell my husband. Not knowing he was awake and he said, “It’s negative right?” Then I paused for a moment, gave him a little suspense and said it was positive! The joy and tears that followed are a memory that I will cherish all my life.

6. When you finally experienced childbirth after everything you had been through, what did that moment mean to you?

It was surreal. I kept pinching myself to see if it had really happened. It was not an easy journey I must say. It was “baptism by fire”. I had issues with breastmilk; my mum and MIL were both sick and getting help in the first few months was a challenge. But my heart was full. On the first Mother’s Day after I gave birth, I remember writing something like although I was tired, smelling of baby milk and looking “razz”, I was grateful that I was finally called a mother and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

7. Looking back now, what has this entire journey taught you about yourself, your faith, and your strength?

It has taught me a lot. I did not know that I had the capacity to go the long haul. Never did I imagine for even a split second that I would experience infertility. I married early and honoured the Lord in my relationship prior to marriage. Everything looked bright. From year to year, I kept thinking it wouldn’t be long before we had children. I can only say that I made it by grace.

I did not know that I had it in me to manage all the stress I went through at the early stages of motherhood. It has been very tough, and I have been stretched but I thank God for sustaining me.

Through it all, I have matured to become a better version of myself. I have learned to pick my battles, concentrate more about what God thinks about me and not be a people pleaser. Finally, I have learned to trust God even when I can’t see the final picture (I am a planner to a fault at times).

8. If you could speak to another woman who is still waiting for her own breakthrough, what would you want her to know?

1. I want to send hugs to any sister going through this challenge. It’s something that one would not want to wish on their worst enemy. I feel you, Sis.
2. I want to ask you to drop the guilt of childlessness immediately. Our society puts so much weight on women when it comes to marriage, pregnancy and childbirth. What does Scripture say? Psalm 127:3 says children are a gift from God, the fruit of the womb His reward. God is the giver of life. It’s a gift and it comes from God. Please drop the guilt that it’s your fault. Both of you cannot produce on your own except God gifts it to you. Also, I learnt something profound from my doctor that changed my paradigm. Every conception is a miracle! Did you know that conception from natural means has a success rate of averagely 25%? Or that the “almighty IVF” has a maximum success rate of 45-50%? The rest is God! Every human being walking on this earth is a miracle! So please take off the guilt Sis! It’s not your fault, neither is it your responsibility to ensure that you and your husband have children. By all means, do your part and get medical help where possible but allow God to be God and do what only He can do.
3. I encourage you and your husband to hold on tightly to God’s Word concerning conception, pregnancy and childbirth. Do what you must do spiritually as led by God: fasting, prayer, deliverance, etc and trust God to do the rest. God does not lie and He is no respecter of persons. If He did it for me, and many other women in Scripture and around you, then He will do it for you.
4. Medical help is not a “sin”. Get checked so it can inform your prayers. God can choose to work through medicine or not. It is critical to be led by the Holy Spirit in these matters.
5. Serve in Church and other ministries as led while waiting. Don’t get into your shell and be so focused on your issue that nothing else matters.  Water others and you will be watered.
6. Eat healthy, start taking folic acid asap, exercise, etc.
7. Have fun with your husband and friends in this “free” time (Believe me, you will miss these times when the children come!). Go for a vacation, do your hobbies, etc. Stress does not help with conception and sometimes sex can become a chore.
8. Lastly, don’t walk it alone. Have a core tribe of God-fearing people who will listen, pray and support you in your time of waiting. You will need them in times when you have no strength to carry on.

May God be with you and come through quickly for you in Jesus’ Name! Amen

If Ruth’s story speaks to your situation or to that of a loved one, you can reach out to her via email at ruthopoku7@gmail.com.

Lots of love,