Fatherhood through Charles Armah’s eyes

In the spirit of Father’s Day, I had a quick chat with Charles Armah a father who’s doing his best to show up where it matters most: home. I asked him a few honest questions about fatherhood, and he didn’t hold back. Real talk, no filters. Let’s get into it.

Here are some of the gems he shared:

“May God help us cos chale it’s not that easy… Anytime you see a dad doing his best, just give him a fist bump if you can!”

“Be intentional about everything.”

“I’m teaching our kids the importance of working towards a goal and being patient with yourself.”

---

1. Share a brief profile about yourself with me

I’m a husband, father, son, brother and friend who loves hard but probably does not show it well. I like to describe myself as an old soul. Day in day out I dey try for myself, my family, colleagues and everyone connected to me. I call myself “a man helped by God”. Depending on how this conversation goes, you may get a gist of why I am saying so.

2. How do you manage being a dad while juggling work and family life? Any secrets to share?

I put my family first. While this is skewed towards the provision aspect. I’ll typically ensure they’re okay to the point of self neglect. While I know there can be a balance I am praying and hoping I get better at it over time. Mine is less of a secret and more of a strategy. I believe I work hard professionally, Chale man must make sure there is food on the table and bills are paid, then I try to be a church boy at heart and in practice, then there are a few fellowships like Full Gospel and Rotary. So you’ll realize I’ve cut a lot of things out to make sure I’m present. My family is relatively young so I always keep a mental note of how I am faring with respect to family time and I look for signs from wifey too. 

3. What are the biggest challenges you face as a dad trying to balance career, being a husband and parenting?

I think it’s more of merging my parenting style with that of my wife. I always go like “don’t spoil these kids oooo”  I come from the angle of don’t tolerate it even if they are kids whereas my wife wants to be the good cop in most of the situations. The thing is, we are doing this for the first time in our lives individually and as a couple so you know how it gets.

I have a demanding job so it can get really busy at times. But then again my role is hybrid so there are times I am able to send the kids to school, do pick up and also be home when they get back. These remote work options have been a life saver!

I am teaching our kids the importance of working towards a goal and being patient with yourself. – Charles Armah

4. Can you tell us about a time when you had to navigate a tricky situation as a dad and how you handled it?

I try as much as possible to delay gratification, myself inclusive. So there was a time where my first daughter asked me “daddy are you poor?” The question took me aback but presented a fine opportunity to break down the fact that we are okay once we have our basic needs covered. This talk has yielded some amazing results. Now we are talking about piggy banks and how much they need to raise for a trip to “Mickey mouse castle”. I am teaching our kids the importance of working towards a goal and being patient with yourself.

5. As a dad, what support systems or resources have been most helpful for you in navigating fatherhood?

I struggle to ask for help. But my wife has been supportive cos she can hear me even when I’m quiet. I’m an only son so my sisters really dey for me. Shout outs to them. Most of my friends are older than me. As in 2x my age. They share experiences and are willing to guide me navigate life. I keep my circle small and it works perfectly for me.

6. What are your thoughts on changing stereotypes about men? How do you believe we can challenge and reshape outdated perceptions in today’s society?

This matter! I compared the note our kids made for their mum (my wife) on Mother’s Day! Glowing tribute ankasa. You give us food, you take us to school, you this you that. For mine, they struggled to come up with a few words. Then it dawned on me, while the behind the scenes school fees and bills left-right-center meant a lot to me as a parent. At this stage, it didn’t really “matter” like that to the kids. It’s the play time together, the meals we share, the rides to school, the books I read to them, the chores we do together etc. These are all things that I do with them once in a while but I realized one thing, the need to be intentional about them. To balance it well and make sure the memories count. It’s not about who shines more, whether mummy or daddy but about making sure we win at it together.

7. Lastly, what advice would you give to other dads (and moms) trying to find that sweet spot between work and family?

Be intentional about everything. Cos being a great dad is built on having your act together. If any of the building blocks is adversely impacted, you’ll struggle. These are my building blocks: spiritual, emotional, physical (health) social and financial. May God help us cos Chale it’s not that easy….Anytime you see a dad doing his best, just give him a fist bump if you can!

Lots of love,

We have created a semi-anonymous space for men to express themselves. It’s called THE STRONG MEN’s Zone. You can check it out here >>>https://forms.gle/hVVaYj664AccTxDM7